BE-DO-HAVE
I got this simple yet valuable lesson off Robert Kiyosaki’s “Cashflow Quadrant”.
The “HAVE” represents one’s goals. Often after one sets their mind on a particular goal, the next question they ask themselves is “what do I have to do to achieve that goal?” The more determined ones come up with a ToDo list. They set their goal and begin doing. Now that all sounds great, absolutely logical with no qualms about that. Well… unfortunately that’s where most of us got it all wrong.
Example 1: The Perfect Body
We take the example of the “perfect body” that Robert mentioned. All the time we hear of people who would be ever so determined to achieve the perfect body. Most commonly they look for the perfect diet, go to gym, and that lasts for a few weeks before they lose it and go back to their fried chicken wings, Char Kway Teow, french fries, KFC and Macdonalds home delivery in front of the TV. This is an example of ‘doing instead of being’. It is not the diet, gym or whatever you do that matters; it is about who you have to be to follow the diet that counts. We often focus on what we have to do but neglect who we have to be. A diet will never help if the thoughts from within do not change.
Example 2: Getting Rich
Another example that relates to people who hope to be rich by buying stocks and invest in bonds/funds because that’s what the rich people do. They invest. As mentioned, the ‘doing’ part is not the slightest bit as crucial as the ‘being’ part. By just doing what professional investors do doesn’t guarantee financial success. If one has a loser mindset, it doesn’t matter what stock, bond or real estate that they buy. They still end up losing simply because their mind doesn’t think like the rich does. Many often try ‘to do’ what the rich do and ‘to have’ what the rich have, skipping the crucial ‘be’ part, to think and act like the rich do.
Example 3: Relationships
Many people often go to bars, clubs, work, church looking for their ideal partner. <– That is what they ‘do’. They look for the right person instead of working on ‘being the right person’. In marriage, we often hear of people trying to change the other person so that they can have a better marriage. Instead of trying so hard to change the other person, which often leads to fights, isn’t it better to change yourself first? If you take a good look around, there are always people who try to change everyone else, but not change themselves. Instead of working on the other person, work on yourself. Work on your thoughts about that person.
